I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize