So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize