We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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