its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
