She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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