hotel room ftw
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
