So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
