I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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