I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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