i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
