he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
