then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
