don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
