Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
