I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
