i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
