The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
