In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize