He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
