adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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