She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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