dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You are the jesus of drinking
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
