We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do herpes really smell.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
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