the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
