If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
