Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
