Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
