Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
