How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
