toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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