i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
