at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
