Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
