so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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