Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
