Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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