At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
