battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
