He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
