he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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