I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
