Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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