so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
