I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
