I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
