at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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