She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
