"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
