I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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