mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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