She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
