Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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