This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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