i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
