You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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