You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
