Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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