Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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