Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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