Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
