I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
