I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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