Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
