I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We just shotgunned beers for America
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize