Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
