I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My hand turned me down
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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