so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
